The limbo continues.
When people ask, I tell them "yes, I might be coming home soon", but that is simply due to an outcome of a construct of events I've formed in my own mind which has yet to be put to practice in reality. The facts are these:
I finished my medical profile, without getting a bone scan or a return to duty slip. After a week of hard running and hard PT, I'm in more pain than I ever was before. Having mentally resigned myself to my inability to complete OCS until I've healed up, I went to the hospital this weekend to get a bone scan. Only that department isn't open until Tuesday. So I've got to go in Tuesday, make an appointment, get the scan, take the results to the doctor that told me to get one in the first place, get a 30 day+ profile, redo my Army contract as an enlisted position, get a new MOS, get sent home, report to AIT and begin a new career as an enlisted soldier rather than an officer.
You see, OCS doesn't like broken soldiers. If you get broken, you get kicked out. New rule, it sucks, but it's a rule. Oh well. The money would have been nice.
So in the mean time? I sit here, doing the shitty details all day, praying that I survive the Intense PT every morning and afternoon, and wait for the weekends when I can sleep in.
The weekends aren't that interesting either. There is nothing to do here, except shop - and that is dangerous because I don't have much money, not after Paypal got that large chunk and haven't given it back to me yet. I'd go for walks (there are some actually nice parks near the officer's district) but it's a bit too painful to be enjoyable. I'm out of movies, and am tired of paying for internet (again with the money thing).
As usual, I'm slowly fighting the war against insanity of inactivity. I'm over trying to be an officer. Give me an enlisted job, and just fucking send me to war already, please?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Battleing the Unknowns
I'm perfectly fine with inactivity.
Being essentially a person with little drive for personal advancement and power, I don't really care about being busy all the time and kinda like sitting around reading a book.
Which is essentually all I've done here at Fort Benning.
After arriving at HHC for my battalion and being processed into C company, we spent several days of extreme running - a five mile run followed by a two mile followed by yet another five mile followed by a two mile... at the end of which, I figured I must have reopened my fractures not to mention damaging the ligaments on the opposite foot from favouring my hip. I got a medical profile, was transfered back to HHC, and have spent the last two weeks on crutches.
I'm fine with that.
I'm just not fine with not knowing what's going to happen to me. If my fractures look like they're going to take too long to heal, I might be sent to enlisted AIT in the interum, which would pretty much kill my chances of being a commissioned officer for a while.
Or I might get to class up to the next OCS company. I don't know. No one knows. The unknown has been freaking me out, keeping awake at nights (which is not good when you're only allotted 6 hours for sleep). I'm slowy, yet surely, going mad...
Not to mention the fact that while I do get the weekends off, I don't know anyone here, have no vehical in which to go off base, and am generally somewhat forced to sit by myself in the back of the barracks waiting for Monday. Having internet helps. But I miss my friends, or at least someone I can call a friend, and I miss hanging out with someone in a non-military setting and having a cold beer...
Meh, anyone want to visit Georgia?
Being essentially a person with little drive for personal advancement and power, I don't really care about being busy all the time and kinda like sitting around reading a book.
Which is essentually all I've done here at Fort Benning.
After arriving at HHC for my battalion and being processed into C company, we spent several days of extreme running - a five mile run followed by a two mile followed by yet another five mile followed by a two mile... at the end of which, I figured I must have reopened my fractures not to mention damaging the ligaments on the opposite foot from favouring my hip. I got a medical profile, was transfered back to HHC, and have spent the last two weeks on crutches.
I'm fine with that.
I'm just not fine with not knowing what's going to happen to me. If my fractures look like they're going to take too long to heal, I might be sent to enlisted AIT in the interum, which would pretty much kill my chances of being a commissioned officer for a while.
Or I might get to class up to the next OCS company. I don't know. No one knows. The unknown has been freaking me out, keeping awake at nights (which is not good when you're only allotted 6 hours for sleep). I'm slowy, yet surely, going mad...
Not to mention the fact that while I do get the weekends off, I don't know anyone here, have no vehical in which to go off base, and am generally somewhat forced to sit by myself in the back of the barracks waiting for Monday. Having internet helps. But I miss my friends, or at least someone I can call a friend, and I miss hanging out with someone in a non-military setting and having a cold beer...
Meh, anyone want to visit Georgia?
Monday, December 15, 2008
SGT Quivey is back
Yes, I returned from three months of exceptionaly cold training out in sunny (hah) South Carolina. I would say it was cold, and I was bored with occasional times of high adrenaline and periods of sheer exhaustion.
I was the SAW gunner for one of our last field exercises and emerged from it (10 mile tactical march in, 10 miles out. 6 days of squad tactics/urban assault) with several stress fractures in my right femer ball joint/"hip". I should be resting it up, but I must continue to train while I'm on leave to prepare for OCS out at Benning, which is where I'm headed this coming year.
Lordy, it's 2009 already?
Anyway, I just spent a lovely day in my downtown hometown, especially at my quaint pub, "The Banshee". I forgot the camera. I'm still getting used to civilian things again, like even my cell phone! Not to mention this lap top. Hah. Well. Anyway, that's all.
Wow, what a depressing post that one below this is!? Don't you love it when you go read through old posts and think "what on earth possessed me to write that tripe?" Haha
I was the SAW gunner for one of our last field exercises and emerged from it (10 mile tactical march in, 10 miles out. 6 days of squad tactics/urban assault) with several stress fractures in my right femer ball joint/"hip". I should be resting it up, but I must continue to train while I'm on leave to prepare for OCS out at Benning, which is where I'm headed this coming year.
Lordy, it's 2009 already?
Anyway, I just spent a lovely day in my downtown hometown, especially at my quaint pub, "The Banshee". I forgot the camera. I'm still getting used to civilian things again, like even my cell phone! Not to mention this lap top. Hah. Well. Anyway, that's all.
Wow, what a depressing post that one below this is!? Don't you love it when you go read through old posts and think "what on earth possessed me to write that tripe?" Haha
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Easy....
I finally completed realizing today that while I'm quite easy to like...
...I'm not really that easy to love.
Consider: Person J really really liked me. We flirted a lot. Then we had one of those "oh we're not flirting anymore!" times followed by the "yes darling we're going out". However she very soon dropped me for someone else, HOWEVER she never stopped really liking me and liking to hang out.
Person M - the only person so far who started out REALLY loving me, just couldn't take it any longer and broke up with me. And she's still very bitter against me, because I think she still loves the idea of loving me, but hates me for not being easy to love in reality.
And Person S just told me that this whole romantic thing isn't really working, but she really likes hanging out with me. She thinks it's her fault, but it's not....
I think I'm too laid back. I'm too respectful as well of other people, and I don't want to impose myself or push things too far. I'm funny and happy, but I have a hard time opening up and being personal. That's because when I do open up, you suddenly realize all the shit I've had to go through in my life and how deeply it's affected me. It's a burdan I'm glad to talk about, but nothing that anyone has wanted to share. I don't blame them at all for it, I wouldn't want it either (although I'm grateful for it because of all I've learned from it).
I'm a great friend. I think now I just need to learn how to be content with that.
That shouldn't take long. Once I know something about myself, I can become comfortable accepting that strength or weakness. It's the not knowing that gets to me and gets me down.
Good to know...
...I'm not really that easy to love.
Consider: Person J really really liked me. We flirted a lot. Then we had one of those "oh we're not flirting anymore!" times followed by the "yes darling we're going out". However she very soon dropped me for someone else, HOWEVER she never stopped really liking me and liking to hang out.
Person M - the only person so far who started out REALLY loving me, just couldn't take it any longer and broke up with me. And she's still very bitter against me, because I think she still loves the idea of loving me, but hates me for not being easy to love in reality.
And Person S just told me that this whole romantic thing isn't really working, but she really likes hanging out with me. She thinks it's her fault, but it's not....
I think I'm too laid back. I'm too respectful as well of other people, and I don't want to impose myself or push things too far. I'm funny and happy, but I have a hard time opening up and being personal. That's because when I do open up, you suddenly realize all the shit I've had to go through in my life and how deeply it's affected me. It's a burdan I'm glad to talk about, but nothing that anyone has wanted to share. I don't blame them at all for it, I wouldn't want it either (although I'm grateful for it because of all I've learned from it).
I'm a great friend. I think now I just need to learn how to be content with that.
That shouldn't take long. Once I know something about myself, I can become comfortable accepting that strength or weakness. It's the not knowing that gets to me and gets me down.
Good to know...
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Such is life....
As I finally popped open a bottle of Firestone beer last night, somewhere between 10 and 11 pm, I remembered how sometimes "life" takes far too much pleasure in throwing everything at you at one time...
It started with the move - nothing unplanned, I made myself available this holiday weekend so I could help my old roommates move into their new house (and also lay claim to a corner for myself during my Davis stay). The funny part was suddenly, oh, two of them have to go to a wedding and can't be around for the unloading of the U-Haul into the new house. Fortunately the remaining roommate, Jordan, and I recruited a small squad of willing help (mostly female...) and we were able to get all the boxes and furniture into the garage and parts of the house by around 6 pm on Saturday. After a dinner, Jordan decided to spend the rest of the evening setting up his fish tanks, while I decided to spend my evening actually moving the furniture into the house and setting it in correct locations, as well as beds, and moving boxes into their correct rooms...
I guess I must have some sort of extremist idea of what "moving" involves... my roommates appear to think that the "take it slow and draw it out as long as possible" is the best method. I just want to be productive. After spending Sunday morning going insane with their inactivity, I helped two of my girls move into new appartments, and returned their U-Hauls. It was a long day, but it did culminate in a free dinner at Plutos.
Monday started with me returning to my usual PT, followed by my roommate's announcement that he wanted a fish pond just off the front porch (no, we're not done unpacking boxes yet). After watching him dig for a bit, I took pity on him and decided that if we're going to have a fish pond, we'd better have one that at least looks decent. So I dug a nice two level squared off 4'x8'x22" hole in the hard ground. This was followed by scavangeing large rocks from around town to weigh the pond liner down. In the end, it looks like a good pond.... it even has a fountain... but we're not finished unpacking.
After all of that, I decided I needed a beer. So I got in my car around 7:30 to head on down to Woodstocks for pint night. I was just getting relaxed and looking forward to a good evening as I navigated the streets in Davis... I was just turning left on a green light, when.... BAM.
Some dark blue car with no lights comes speeding out of no where and impales intself on my right front tire, which decides to go for a brand new acute angle with the ground, as well as a new profession of holding up my suspension on it's rim.... the other car lost it's bumper, but other than that, perfectly ok...
Around 8:30 the cop finally shows up to give his assessment, and the tow truck arrives to drag both cars (?). Mine is the last car on, and after an interesting drive and getting lost trying to find my street, I finally have my poor wrecked car on the driveway around 10:30.
That's when I popped open the beer and reached for my phone to call my folks... only to discover that my phone has gone MIA since the accident. Probably fell on the side of the road after the colission... geeze...
And today I have to write a paper for class...
Oh, did I mention I also ship out in 20 days?
I love life...
Fuck...
When things like this happen, I always remember that scene in Ocean's 12 where the guy looks over at his palm reader and says "THIS? You couldn't warn me about THIS?" as he's getting abducted...
I like to check my horoscope and see what "words of warning" they may have had for me, haha!
I like yesterday's: "Important messages from the depths of your subconscious have the answers you are seeking, yet they won't likely be delivered if there are too many distractions in the way."
Yeah, that distraction was a dark blue Honda Accord. I wonder if the important message was "brake, you fool!!"?
Today's is equally good: "Vacillating between fuzzy thinking and accurate analysis of the facts can be a bit exhausting, especially if you can't tell which is which." Yeah, I'm not looking forward to the accident report this afternoon. But I guess I didn't think that I wouldn't remember what the facts were?
It's a constant source of amusment, reading late horoscopes.
It started with the move - nothing unplanned, I made myself available this holiday weekend so I could help my old roommates move into their new house (and also lay claim to a corner for myself during my Davis stay). The funny part was suddenly, oh, two of them have to go to a wedding and can't be around for the unloading of the U-Haul into the new house. Fortunately the remaining roommate, Jordan, and I recruited a small squad of willing help (mostly female...) and we were able to get all the boxes and furniture into the garage and parts of the house by around 6 pm on Saturday. After a dinner, Jordan decided to spend the rest of the evening setting up his fish tanks, while I decided to spend my evening actually moving the furniture into the house and setting it in correct locations, as well as beds, and moving boxes into their correct rooms...
I guess I must have some sort of extremist idea of what "moving" involves... my roommates appear to think that the "take it slow and draw it out as long as possible" is the best method. I just want to be productive. After spending Sunday morning going insane with their inactivity, I helped two of my girls move into new appartments, and returned their U-Hauls. It was a long day, but it did culminate in a free dinner at Plutos.
Monday started with me returning to my usual PT, followed by my roommate's announcement that he wanted a fish pond just off the front porch (no, we're not done unpacking boxes yet). After watching him dig for a bit, I took pity on him and decided that if we're going to have a fish pond, we'd better have one that at least looks decent. So I dug a nice two level squared off 4'x8'x22" hole in the hard ground. This was followed by scavangeing large rocks from around town to weigh the pond liner down. In the end, it looks like a good pond.... it even has a fountain... but we're not finished unpacking.
After all of that, I decided I needed a beer. So I got in my car around 7:30 to head on down to Woodstocks for pint night. I was just getting relaxed and looking forward to a good evening as I navigated the streets in Davis... I was just turning left on a green light, when.... BAM.
Some dark blue car with no lights comes speeding out of no where and impales intself on my right front tire, which decides to go for a brand new acute angle with the ground, as well as a new profession of holding up my suspension on it's rim.... the other car lost it's bumper, but other than that, perfectly ok...
Around 8:30 the cop finally shows up to give his assessment, and the tow truck arrives to drag both cars (?). Mine is the last car on, and after an interesting drive and getting lost trying to find my street, I finally have my poor wrecked car on the driveway around 10:30.
That's when I popped open the beer and reached for my phone to call my folks... only to discover that my phone has gone MIA since the accident. Probably fell on the side of the road after the colission... geeze...
And today I have to write a paper for class...
Oh, did I mention I also ship out in 20 days?
I love life...
Fuck...
When things like this happen, I always remember that scene in Ocean's 12 where the guy looks over at his palm reader and says "THIS? You couldn't warn me about THIS?" as he's getting abducted...
I like to check my horoscope and see what "words of warning" they may have had for me, haha!
I like yesterday's: "Important messages from the depths of your subconscious have the answers you are seeking, yet they won't likely be delivered if there are too many distractions in the way."
Yeah, that distraction was a dark blue Honda Accord. I wonder if the important message was "brake, you fool!!"?
Today's is equally good: "Vacillating between fuzzy thinking and accurate analysis of the facts can be a bit exhausting, especially if you can't tell which is which." Yeah, I'm not looking forward to the accident report this afternoon. But I guess I didn't think that I wouldn't remember what the facts were?
It's a constant source of amusment, reading late horoscopes.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
ah fuck it...
I really need to tell Dave to kinda lay off (literally?) of Sonia before it really gets to me... I mean, I'm not at nature a jealous man... but couldn't he just lay off for a month until I'm gone? Whatever... just had to say that somewhere...
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Busy
I've spent quite a bit of time on the Army clock this last week. I'm the Davis liason recruiter, and as such, try and refer as many people as possible to my sergeant at the Woodland station (I've had about 4 referals in the last weeks). Last week I was called into Woodland to report and travel with my sergeants into the Sacramento Battalion base to reapply for my shipping orders. I spent several days, missing two days of class in the process (grrrr) because of having to wait on the staff sergeants and officers to make arrangements.
But I finally have what I was called up for! A ship date! September 24th for Ft Jackson, SC! Hooah - finally! It's maybe sooner than I hoped, but I just want to get this Change Of Station over with...
While at the Sacramento base, I spent a fair deal of time in the general lounge where all the kids who are hoping to ship off to basic sit around. Again, as always, I was struck by the fact that they are all children, between 17 and 19 years old. They are fit, to be sure, in good spirits, but so very young and inexperienced. Don't tell that to them of course - there's always enough testosterone running around in that lounge to make defensive attitudes rise quickly, although there's something about wearing a uniform in that crowd which draws instant respect, so maybe I'm lucky.
There was one guy there however - calm, about six foot something, of african american descent, and with a very mature bearing. I read his info sticker and it titled him as a US Army Active shipper - leaving that day. We sat next to each other in the outer lounge where non-military people are allowed, and his very tall and lovely wife and two small children came in to say good bye to pappa. I wondered what his story was. Everyone has a story for joining, but most of them are the same: either it's a kid who's wanted to be in the army since he or she was first able to walk, or it's a kid who's had a lot of trouble at school, is having trouble at home, and wants to get out and make a new life for him/herself. But obviously not this fellow - the only person below the rank of E-4 there who was, besides myself, over the age of 21! I didn't get to ask him why he joined, but you have to know it involved a fair amount of sheer patriotism to have left his family like that.
All I can say is I hope I have his type in my unit...
But I finally have what I was called up for! A ship date! September 24th for Ft Jackson, SC! Hooah - finally! It's maybe sooner than I hoped, but I just want to get this Change Of Station over with...
While at the Sacramento base, I spent a fair deal of time in the general lounge where all the kids who are hoping to ship off to basic sit around. Again, as always, I was struck by the fact that they are all children, between 17 and 19 years old. They are fit, to be sure, in good spirits, but so very young and inexperienced. Don't tell that to them of course - there's always enough testosterone running around in that lounge to make defensive attitudes rise quickly, although there's something about wearing a uniform in that crowd which draws instant respect, so maybe I'm lucky.
There was one guy there however - calm, about six foot something, of african american descent, and with a very mature bearing. I read his info sticker and it titled him as a US Army Active shipper - leaving that day. We sat next to each other in the outer lounge where non-military people are allowed, and his very tall and lovely wife and two small children came in to say good bye to pappa. I wondered what his story was. Everyone has a story for joining, but most of them are the same: either it's a kid who's wanted to be in the army since he or she was first able to walk, or it's a kid who's had a lot of trouble at school, is having trouble at home, and wants to get out and make a new life for him/herself. But obviously not this fellow - the only person below the rank of E-4 there who was, besides myself, over the age of 21! I didn't get to ask him why he joined, but you have to know it involved a fair amount of sheer patriotism to have left his family like that.
All I can say is I hope I have his type in my unit...
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