Easy....

I finally completed realizing today that while I'm quite easy to like...

...I'm not really that easy to love.

Consider: Person J really really liked me. We flirted a lot. Then we had one of those "oh we're not flirting anymore!" times followed by the "yes darling we're going out". However she very soon dropped me for someone else, HOWEVER she never stopped really liking me and liking to hang out.
Person M - the only person so far who started out REALLY loving me, just couldn't take it any longer and broke up with me. And she's still very bitter against me, because I think she still loves the idea of loving me, but hates me for not being easy to love in reality.
And Person S just told me that this whole romantic thing isn't really working, but she really likes hanging out with me. She thinks it's her fault, but it's not....

I think I'm too laid back. I'm too respectful as well of other people, and I don't want to impose myself or push things too far. I'm funny and happy, but I have a hard time opening up and being personal. That's because when I do open up, you suddenly realize all the shit I've had to go through in my life and how deeply it's affected me. It's a burdan I'm glad to talk about, but nothing that anyone has wanted to share. I don't blame them at all for it, I wouldn't want it either (although I'm grateful for it because of all I've learned from it).

I'm a great friend. I think now I just need to learn how to be content with that.
That shouldn't take long. Once I know something about myself, I can become comfortable accepting that strength or weakness. It's the not knowing that gets to me and gets me down.
Good to know...