disturbed...

(and yes, I like that band)

I had a good time last night - I went down to Old Faithful (the Banshee) with the girl, Airman Peters. I also ran into my old friend from Butte days Brian and his girl friend Shasta, who joined us randomly for a double date.
Now here's the thing - Shasta's older sister Crystal and I had a lot of classes together and I kinda had a thing for her in a big way. I haven't seen her in a year or so, so I asked how she was doing. Apparently she's married. "Yeah", Brian said, "and apparently she was really really into you, ain't that funny?". I asked about her husband, and Shasta rolls her eyes. "He's an oaf", she said, "a complete oaf. Crystal, who graduates in Anthropology at the top of her class, marries an oaf and is destined to make babies and live in Oroville for the rest of her life".
I was just kinda stunned.
I mean, Crystal was the type of girl who was a) drop dead gorgeous, b) motivated for success, and c) smarter than ME. Oh yeah, and she had great fashion too. So here's the thing - I spent the entire trip driving back to Davis musing on her circumstance and just being completely disturbed. You know, I used to be into the whole sanctity of marriage thing back in the day, but in this case I believe the higher calling is fullfilment of self! I've half a mind to get her number, invite her out for coffee to catch up on old times, and just say "hey, I'm still very much into you - I've 40,000 a year plus living expensives and the opportunity to travel around the country, what do you say?".
Is that really so bad? Am I just being exceptionally jealous? I don't know. But I am disturbed for her. I still apparently care enough for her that I can't just seem to let this go. Isn't that aweful? When you really care about someone but missed out and can't do anything anymore but watch them fade into the mundane?
Geeze...
I'm gonna be up all night again... :-P

Two months until I ship out...